Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Question on Thank yous....

This has been buring a hole in the back of my head for a few months now. Cordelia over at CraftyCritter made a mention on her blog today about folks saying Thank You. I am not sure about this, but I thought that most of us were raised to say Please and Thank You....or at least I know that I was (although I will admit that I needed to be prodded now and then by every parents common phrase "What do you say?" until it stuck in my head).

One of my favorite things about sending someone something - be it a R.A.O.K. (Random Act of Kindness), Swap, Exchange, Christmas in July gift or even a Just Because I Wanted to gift - is to read / hear the comments when it is received...Especially the RAOK gifts - I love to know that I brightened up someones day....knowing that will usually brighten my day up also! Warm fuzzies and all that jazz!

I have had a Love/Hate relationship with the Postal System ever since I worked for them in College. (Warning - I can go Postal at any time......) They seem to take great pleasure in tormenting me by losing, misplacing, misdeliverying and disfiguring the packages and letters that I mail (Is it because I turned down that postman Eric for a date???)! I usually live in torment during the mailing process that the package is not going to arrive! And this includes the delivery companies as well! DHL was the last great culprit...I am still hoping that it turns up one of these days.....it has my name and address on it afterall!

Often we know due to the wonders of Delivery Confirmation when a package arrives, but for the little things we don't know....is it acceptable after a period of time to give them a nudge and ask them if they have received anything???? Whats your opinion????


Veronica said...

I say yes, it is acceptable. When you send something, especially out of kindness, you should not have to wonder whether or not the gift arrived.

Jessica said...

If it's someone close, I say go ahead and ask them if they got it. I usually give them three weeks after I think they should have gotten it. That's plenty of time to send an email or drop a note in the mail.

If it's someone I'm not close to, like a RAOK or something, I generally just shrug and put them on my personal Do Not RAOK list. And, unfortuantely, there are a few people on there.

However, I've been on the other end, too. A whole batch of my thank you notes for wedding gifts went missing, and I only found out because I overheard something (unpleasant) at my in-laws' holiday party. If only someone had asked if I had gotten/liked the item, I would have found out and not had to have figured out who got notes and who didn't. I'm sure there are still people out there who think I'm ungrateful, even though I tried my best to say thanks.

I don't think there's a good answer, unfortunately. :(

CraftyCritter said...

For all receivers of R.A.O.K. gifts, CLOSE YOUR EYES!
I am one of the senders that does not use my name or address, so when someone post on the thanks of the Xmas in July or R.A.O.K, then I know they've received it. No being a braggard however I sent a couple of items medium priced, haven't heard a peep. One lady I did PM and ask, never got an answer to my PM, and she was in C'ville yesterday and today. I don't want a personal thank you , just so sorta of acknowledgement post that it was indeed received!

But I am a bit confused as a receiver of gifts too...I blog about my wonderful gifts and I post ASAP in C'ville, but should I send a personal note as well if I know who the giver is? I haven't been which gives me knots in my stomach as I was raised you send a thank you note!

CraftyCritter said...

Oh, one more thing... I do have a little journal of wishlist and I do note if they acknowledged gifts.
I know, I know, its rather anal but why give pressies if it's not appreciated, could be sending goodies to someone who needs them or wants them! And I do R.A.O.K. for purely selfish reasons, although the receiver doesn't know who the gifts are from, when I see that post I feel pretty friggin good...thus it being selfish on my part! I'm done now Kimberly, I promise! :)

Kimberly said...

Comment away Cordelia!! Thats what the comment section is for....and I asked for opinions! And you are saying nothing that I don't feel / think about!

I do not always put my address on my gifts also - its not about people knowing who sent the gift and that it was me, but rather its about the feeling that you get when you brighten someones day and send them something that they just could not see buying for themselves! I love to read the comments about what I sent, and worry when they don't post about it - did they not get it...did they hate it??? As you said - its the selfish I want to feel good about myself reason for doing it...I don't care if they know it was me...I know and thats all that matters!

Deneen said...

I send some thing anonymously and some things with my name and yes, I look for their posts. I don't need a thank you, but I appreciate them posting their gifts.

I would do the nudge-nudge after about 2 weeks. Nothing pisses me off more then, oh yeah, I forgot.

Whenever I receive something, I post that night. Sometimes it takes a while too, uplaod pics, etc., but it's the right thing to do! When I did the Christmas in July Rules I made sure thank yous were mandatory-sad state of our manners, but had to do it anyway!